Several months ago a customer marched in and announced: “The candyman is here!!”. When the smoke had cleared and the staff had one of their semi-regular debriefings (basically, a beer and a packet of chips and a shoulder to cry on), there was a fair bit of discussion as to who was the “candyman” in question? Was the customer referring to himself (in the third person, no less!)? Or was Jeff, the dude behind the counter, the candyman?
The cultural references were sifted through and all discarded as possibilities. Neither customer nor counter-monkey looked like the guy in the Clive Barker horror movie:
We do currently have a copy of the Soft Boys’ A Can Of Bees lp in stock but Jeff was positive it was nowhere near his mouth at the time of the candyman comment.
And then there’s the comic character:
Now that I think about it, this guy does look a little Scottish… A relative of Joe’s perhaps? Anyway, it wasn’t Joe behind the counter; so that’s ruled out.
I’d like to think the remark had something to do with the excellent Beyond the Valley Of the Dolls soundtrack, coincidentally available on reissue LP at the store!
But I have my doubts.
And, though Jeff was wearing hotpants at the time, he hardly bears a resemblance to Christina Aguilera. I’m pretty sure his thigh is bigger than her waistline:
Sorry folks, none of Christina’s records are in stock. But if you want any, I’m sure we can order them in for you. For that matter, if you want any records that we don’t have on the shelves, don’t be shy, just ask! There’s a good chance we’ll be able to get it in for ya if you’re happy to wait a couple of weeks for it to arrive.
So it was a mystery. Until yesterday! Finally, after much procrastinating, a few hours on the Googles, and a whole lot of waiting for the postman (I think he avoids us. I wonder if it has anything to do with our letterbox?), a bunch of 45 adapters, 7″ centres, or whatever you like to call them, arrived! In all sorts of colours! Plastic ones can be purchased for $4 each, while the classy milled and anodized alloy versions are yours for $12 each:
A quick visit to the local variety store yielded a couple of nice storage jars:
And bingo! We are the candymans! Or candymen, if you prefer proper England talking. That customer, unbeknownst to us at the time, possessed a sage-like precognition. We’re not drug dealers or keepers of salacious women/men that accept lavish gifts and monies from us in return for sexual and/or emotional servitude, or any of those other slang uses for the word. We’re goodly, old-fashioned blokes, with old-fashioned values. Heck, we’ve got the jars to prove it! Just like in this charming picture:
So come on down for some old world service and buy some products that most folk think are throwbacks to the times of yesteryear. Round and Round: Purveyors of modern antiquities. And proud of it!